Many Thoughts Today

This morning I woke up and Lucy was still asleep.  I took advantage of this time and did a little reading.  My cousin just gave me a wonderful book that I am recommending to everyone!  The title is "Be Still My Soul" and it is edited by Nancy Guthrie.

 It is a compilation of 25 readings, both new and old, on the issue of pain and suffering.  My eyes were really opened this morning as I started in on the first reading about Paul and the pain he endured throughout his life.  One of the questions he was asked frequently was "Where is God in all of this."  Isn't that something we ask ourselves sometimes daily? 

My suffering involves a family whos lives have been uprooted due to childhood cancer and all that it entails.  Your suffering may be your health, a divorce, an aging parent, the death of a spouse or any other issue causing your pain.  So many people have said to me "I don't know how you are being so strong," or "How do you keep on day after day." My typical answer is "You'd do the same thing if it were your child/family."  While that is true, there has to be something much more than just determination and love pushing me forward.  In my niavity it is easy for me to just accept that God is there with me and holding my hand through all of this.  But honestly, there is so much more to it than that. 

While reading it has become obvious to me that there is a great design in God's master plan that has allowed me to harness strength and perseverance that I never knew I had.  When we become Christians we become united with the greatest strength of all.  This world was created to be temporal.  It and the things it inhabits will die and vanish.  That's just the way it is.  Throughout the centuries, suffering has always been a major part of life.  It still is.  What I am learning is that through suffering our good times are better and our rewards in heaven will be that much sweeter.  Not that I will deserve anything more than anyone else (because I SOOO do not), but just as I now appreciate life a little more here on earth due to this suffering, so will I in heaven. 

So.....get the book.  Read it. I pray you will gain a new perspective on your suffering through the readings.

Yesterday was a great day.  Alot different from Monday, when she slept for about 19 hours.  Lucy received blood and platelets yesterday and was put on a CAD pump that administers a continuous low-dose of Morphine.  She had so much energy and wanted to play.  She was up until 10 o'clock last night.  She visited with her grandparents, did crafts with Ella, we colored and worked a puzzle and even watched some movies.  It was wonderful seeing her feel so good.  Today she is still asleep.  She woke up around 10:00 to go to the bathroom, but went back to sleep and is still out!  Her little body is just worn down, so we just let her sleep when she needs to sleep and enjoy the times when she is up and alert. 

To give you an idea of what we look at each day, I have a comparison of her blood work:

                      Hgb (Hemoglobin)                Platelets                     ANC       
Normal          11.5-14.0                              190-490                   1500-8500
Wednesday    7.2                                       25                              0   
Thursday        9.3                                       99

Isn't it amazing what a transfusion will do for a body?  I am so thankful for the many people out there that give blood and platelets on a regular basis.  THANK YOU!!!

Last night my friends Nicole and Christi came to visit.  They brought some yummy G-free food, including some gourmet looking and tasting cupcakes.  I've won favor on the floor with the doctors and nurses thanks to these sweet treats!  Today we are taking it easy.  Erik is coming down to visit with Lucy for a while and I am going to take some time away from the hospital to get some fresh air.  He is such a wonderful husband and father.  God sure gave me a good one!

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