A Day

I can only imagine how Lucy feels right now.  I, personally, am utterly exhausted.  I feel as if I have a knot the size of a boulder between my shoulders...and I didn't even have the surgical procedure today.  She has stayed pretty much loopy all day on Ativan.  It was in her best interest that she not remember Apheresis today. 

She and I arrived at St. Jude this morning at 7:30am.  It is 8:10pm and we still have roughly 2-3 hours left in our journey.  Erik joined us around 1:30pm.  Lucy braved her way through waiting for her line and I cried buckets of tears as I accepted the realities of the morning situation. 

Her CD34 number had dropped drastically, making today's harvest a greater challenge than ever expected.  After consulting with 2 doctors from her team, it was decided that a bone marrow harvest was not in her best interest and we needed to get what we could today with Apheresis.  It was not a great scenario, or even a good one, but we had to work with what she had.  We don't know yet what this will mean for the future.  We have given it over to God and are asking for His divine will to be done.  I have prayed asking for a miracle a million times today. 

As I cried to my friend Kristie today, I told her that it seems that just as things start to rock along Lucy gets thrown a huge curve ball.  I'm beginning to think that God is trying to tell me that I'm spending way too much time upright, and not enough time on my knees.  Well, today I have sure made up for some lost time. 

We have to be back first thing in the morning for Lucy's MRI.  I can't say that I'm looking very forward to two extremely stressful days in a row.  The knots are already forming in my tummy.  I can, and will, pray about it all day long but there is no denying the human element of fear and worry.  For Lucy's sake, and ours, we decided to stay at the Target House tonight so we can try to get some rest and save some driving time tonight and tomorrow morning.  So today after Erik got down here, I headed back home and packed my bags, packed the kids up to stay at my mom's and then drove back to Memphis. 

It's been a day.  That's about the best thing I can say about it so far.  I am still praying for a miracle as related to the number of cells they were able to harvest.  We'll know soon enough. 

I'm signing off now.  I can hardly keep my eyes open and I'm probably writing in terrible run-on sentences with lots of grammatical errors.  And I think I may be just rambling, too. 

Sheer exhaustion.
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