Tired

I'm tired of it.  All of it.  Lucy is not going in on Sunday.  Counts were all off.  Hgb 8.0, Platelets 38 and ANC 700.  I'm pretty sure I just made an a** of myself in the clinic.  Tears, snot.  The whole works.  I was not as nice as I should have been to the NP.  I know its not her fault but sometimes you can't help but to kill the messenger. 

Trying to understand it all and make sense of this consant merry-go-round.  There is a reason Lucy is on high dose chemo and a reason why protocol has her going in every 4 weeks.  I need to have reassurance from the doctors that these delays are safe.  That she is going to be ok.  I've requested a meeting with her doc.  Maybe I'll get some peace about the situation then. 

Right now, I'm just angry.  Very, very not happy.
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