The Post That Needs to Be Read

There is a post that I’ve needed to write.  I’ve sat down to do it several times, but Erik and I just haven’t felt that the time was right.  It’s a very complicated issue but we feel that 1. We owe it to the legions of prayer warriors who are storming heaven for Lucy  2. We need more prayers and 3. Until now, we weren’t sure it mattered because Lucy was so very sick and we didn’t think we were coming home regardless.

Please read this thoroughly and take no more from it than what I am telling you.

Over the last few days we received conflicting opinions about Lucy’s recent medical events.  It has taken a long time for us to process this new information and we still aren’t quite sure what to think about it.  We have spent many hours consulting doctors, trying to make some really big decisions.  In a nutshell, there may possibly be some conflicting results about Lucy’s cancer reoccurrence.  I want to stress POSSIBLY.  I want to be very clear.  Lucy had a positive test from her CSF.  It’s hard to deny that fact. However, while we haven’t been able to rule it out we haven’t confirmed it either.  What has come into question is that there is a chance those cells were distorted by high doses of antibiotics, the infection, or the very high fever that Lucy ran for 2 days. 

Please understand that we are being very cautious with this information.  We can’t allow ourselves to get carried away, because there is a positive test out there that will hang over our heads for a while.  The doctors will retest in 6 weeks and then retest again 6 weeks later. 

Until then, we are hitting the ground running.  Lucy has made amazing progress the past week.  So much so that we are working with our team of doctors to get Lucy admitted into a children’s inpatient rehabilitation hospital.  Our hope is that Lucy will be able to receive the kind of care that she needed 6 months ago.  The kind of care that will allow her to have a “normal” life.  One free of stomach pains, free of the fear of walking, free of frustrations when she can’t play with her sister and friends.  The kind of life that every 6 year old wants.  The kind of life that every mother and father wants for their child.  Because, even if Lucy has a short time left we want it to be the best quality time we can give her.

We have no idea how long Lucy has on this earth.  It could be weeks, months or YEARS!  What we do know is that Lucy deserves the chance at life.  Erik and I have decided that if 3-4 weeks of rehabilitation will get her back on track for living then it will be worth it.  All the doctors agree that sitting around waiting 6 or 12 weeks on her next cancer screenings would be such an injustice to Lucy...and to our whole family. 

Leaving my family behind will be agonizing.  This is not the summer I had planned for my children.  I wanted to badly to make up lost time from last year.  As frustrating as it is, there is no denying that we have been given a GIFT.  We are absolutely convicted that God is leading us in the direction of rehab.  We are going to go for it, making every accommodation possible for our family to remain intact.  More than likely it will be for no more than a month.  We can do this! 

I want to say thank you again for the ceaseless prayers.  I feel as if our family is living through a miraculous event. A miracle if even for a few extra weeks or months. There are no other explanations.   We serve an awesome, powerful God.  Someone left a comment a few days ago that we should have had more faith in doctors than God.  This person said that doctors are the only ones with saving powers.  Well, let me be the first to tell you that most every doctor in this hospital had given up.  There was nothing more they could do for us.  (i must add that we have been completely blessed with wonderful, amazing doctors).  My child is talking, walking and full of life today not because of a doctors healing touch.  No, my child has been touched by the merciful hand of God.  She has been blessed.  We have been given a gift.  

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