Thank you all for your prayers. I swore I wouldn't get on Blogger for a while. I guess, though, this really is where I have found my therapy for the last
18 months.

I find myself right now doubting that there could be a loving God but at the same time having faith because thats all I've got.

I've been told by other mothers who have walked this road that in the coming days I will have strength that is truly beyond anything humanly imaginable. I sure hope so. Because what I feel as a human causes me to stop breathing. The pain is unbearable and my heart literally screams.

We have been surrounded by our family and closest friends which is everything I could hope for. I have found comfort in the thousands of messages you all have sent and truly appreciate the respect and privacy we are being given.

I know that as a "family" many of you have grown to love Lucy. For that reason I will try to update as often as I can. 18 months ago you guys began to sustain me on a daily basis. I am thankful for the thousands of people who have and will continue to pray ceaselessly.