A Not So Great Day and Thankfulness

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Yep.  Pretty much sums it up.  Our day started really early, with Lucy's psychological testing starting at 8:00 at St. Jude.  Things were going fine until about 1.5 hours into the testing.  Lucy began to get sleepy and things kept going downhill from there.  I was immediately concerned and took her straight to clinic.  Thank goodness we were at the hospital.  She gave everyone a scare, that's for sure.  They started an IV, did a ton of blood work and ordered a head CT.  By this point I was as close to a true panic attack as I've had in a long time.  She was just so sleepy.  We could get her to wake up, but all she wanted to do was sleep.

These times are never easy, but they are so much harder when I'm alone.  My sweet husband quickly joined me as we waited for answers.  Thankfully, her CT was clear and they are just assuming she was dehydrated from diarrhea.  She got some fluids and they, thankfully, let us come home.  Just barely over C-diff, she has started a 3 week antibiotic for a nasty sinus infection.  This could get really interesting.  Do you take the chance of the infection leading to meningitis or do you risk getting c-diff again?  In the words of Dr. R today, "your damned if you do or damned in you don't."  All we can do it pray.

As we were leaving the hospital after then there for almost 12 hours, I was in quite a pissy mood.  Just keeping it real, folks.  I had to make a quick stop at LeBonheur and as I was driving down Poplar, one of the busiest roads in Memphis, there was a brawl in the middle of the road.  I mean the middle of the road.  Cars were stopped in all directions and all we could do was honk.  One poor kid was being beaten by about 8 other guys.  I was scared to death and felt so helpless.  The mother in me wanted to jump out of the car and save him.  My heart was racing and I could feel the tears welling in my eyes.  I called 911--that's all I could do.

As I drove off, watching this kid get beat to a pulp, all I could do was pray for his safety; knowing that there would probably be a murder tonight related to this fight.  I then started praying that even while I feel like my life is falling apart, I have so much to be thankful for.  I have a safe home where I can keep my kids protected from the craziness of the world.  There is nothing I can do about cancer, but I am so blessed to be able to care for my children.  It aches my hear to think about how those boys grew up.  Did they have a father to teach them?  Did they have a mother to love them?  Did they sleep in a warm bed at night and did they have 3 square meals a day with unlimited snacks?  Did they have the chance at a quality education.  The answer is probably no to most of those questions.  Oh, the very thought just breaks my soul.

I wish I could make it better for them.  I wanted to put that boy in my truck and bring him home.  But I couldn't and now all I can do is pray for him.  I will also pray for the boys that were being so violent.  I'm sure their lives haven't been easy either.

My children may never know how much I love them, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to show them.

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