I had a dream last night that I am going to share with you. I dreamed I was 26 weeks pregnant and the child in me kicked through my tummy. After I arrived at the hospital the doctors opened my belly to reveal a half grown child living there. What was most interesting about the dream is that no one would remove the child. They kept telling me "it isn't time," "it's just not ready yet."
Am I crazy? Is the dream crazy? Or is the fact that the dream actually makes a tiny bit or sense the craziest of all? I have written about my feelings that God has something big in store for my/my family's life. I hold on to this hope because it's how I get through the tough days of cancer (and its aftermath.) I am asking God to open my eyes and heart to what this dream means. My restless spirit has been speaking very loud lately. God is moving, God is working. And let me tell you, being in the middle of God's handiwork is a very, very exciting place to be.
I see God working on a daily basis in areas that surround my life right now. It's an amazing place to be if you like to stand awestruck on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. God is moving in our church. We are growing and quite literally we are bursting at the seams! I feel so blessed to be in our church building on an almost daily basis. I swear sometimes I can actually FEEL the Holy Spirit as I walk in the halls.
He is moving in our school----oh is He moving in our school! If anyone would have told me that our enrollment would be where it is for the 2014-15 school year I would have never believed it. I am so weak in faith at times but God clearly says "For I know the plans I have for you…." Oh, what a blessed assurance!
I know that this dream will haunt me for a while as I pray about its meaning and what God is trying to tell me. I'm not sure why I had the dream but I can tell you that I fell very convicted that God was speaking to me in this one. Maybe it's about the Foundation. Right now I am struggling with the Go Lucy Go Foundation and what it's purpose is. Clearly I know that we are to help families whose child has been diagnosed with a brain tumor/cancer. That part I feel fairly confident I have right. But I don't have a big picture.
Every time I sit to work and start to have a conversation with Erik about writing out our mission and 5 year planned I am physically halted. It's as it there is a mental, physical and emotional block that is holding me back right now. I am begging God for a clearer picture. But maybe it's just not time. Maybe the child isn't ready to be born.
Have I ever mentioned that patience is the least of all my capabilities?
I read a blog every day by an amazing woman named Ashley Ann. As I took a break from my thoughts this morning I snuck over to see what she had to say this morning. I was amazed by how similar our stories are today. Her restless spirit has been nudged by God as well and she is wandering through her desert right now looking for answers, too. I don't know this woman named Ashley but I have gained such encouragement by her words today. She cited a quote from Arthur Ashe:
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
Today as I think about my dream and how it may relate to the Foundation, church and school I have butterflies in my tummy. What is giving you butterflies today? Is God speaking to you to act upon a dream or a mission? I just want to encourage you that if you bathe that dream in prayer God will answer. Maybe He says yes. Maybe He says no. But maybe, just maybe, he says hold tight. Just keep doing what you can until I give you more with which to work.
Prayers Needed:This morning I found out that our sweet friend Ava's cancer has returned. Please, please pray for this family. Her parents and her baby brother…they need your prayers. And Ava, well, she needs a miracle.