|The Go Lucy Go Foundation serving Christmas dinner at LeBonheur|
Today I take Lucy back to the ENT. Over Christmas she lost about 70% of her hearing which of course scared us to death. It was almost overnight that it happened. Immediately the mind goes to dark places that no one should ever know. Once tumor related causes were ruled out (praise God!) we honed in on excessive fluid behind her ears--although she wasn't sore or bothered. Lucy did a round of antibiotics, started wearing her hearing aids again, and we all started praying specially for restoration of her hearing. I think when we go back today the ENT will recommend that she have tubes placed. I know that doesn't sound like a big deal to you, but for Lucy every surgery is a big deal. The risk of infection is what we worry about the most. But honestly, I don't know that fluid sitting behind her tempanic membrane is any more "safe." It seems like a breeding ground for infection to me. Anyway...prayers are appreciated as we make this decision.
Speaking of prayers. Have you done it lately? Not just in a moment of crisis or worry. But really, really prayed. I'm talking about the kind of prayer where you just lay it all out on the table and let God know what you are thinking and feeling. The kind of prayer that when you are done you feel 5 pounds lighter? Isn't worry and fear such a huge burden to bear? I have found that when I am most worried or most angry its mostly because I haven't prayed about the situation. In most cases, a prayer won't immediately take your problem away and it won't totally vanquish your worry. But what it will do is allow God to enter the equation and touch your heart and mind in a way that only He can do. His peace intercedes.
You've heard the old saying "Have you prayed about it as much as you've talked about it?" Now, for me the answer is usually "No. I haven't." I wouldn't be one to talk about it really, but more so one to start trying to fix the problem myself. Surely God needs my help, right? I mean, I'm a take-charge kind of girl who likes to make things happen--yesterday! Tomorrow is never soon enough.
As I've been reading through my Bible study I was struck by the story of Jacob returning to Esau after years of being separated. Jacob was truly a man of God, but he was so stubborn and worldly on so many levels. As he prepared to return home he was just sure his brother would kill him. So he prayed, and I truly think he prayed with a pure heart. However, instead of waiting and letting God answer his prayer he decides that he needed to take matters into his own hands. He schemes this elaborate plan and practically gives away half of this earthly blessings from God just so that he can make sure he had a firm grip on the outcome of his situation. Let me tell you----that is ME! Surely God needs my help, right?
Do you see this lady above? Her name is Rebecca and her daughter is the Ava that I have asked prayers for so many times. Yesterday they got news that Ava's tumor has progressed. It was devastating news and they are beyond heartbroken. Could you imagine any more dire situation than theirs when you would be hard pressed to not want to take matters into your own hands? The fate of your child is in the balance and you must now choose what to do. This amazing family, these parents of Ava, have fully placed their situation in God's hands and their testimony is continuing to touch lives every singly day. Faith. Hope. Prayer--that's all they have. And really, isn't that all the rest of us have too?
You might not be battling cancer or dealing with a life threatening illness but what have you not prayed about today? Is it a career choice? Is there a decision about purchasing a new home? What if its a decision to start a non-profit organization and you still don't have a clear picture of what it should be but you know that you are supposed to start one. If you are wondering, I'm talking about me there. The Go Lucy Go Foundation is my daily "give-it-to-God" matter that brings me to my knees every week.
God continues to answer my prayers but just not in a way that I would like. I'd like the 5 year plan and they flow-chart on what GLG will look like. I'd like the step by step manual that tells me what I need to do and what I can expect day by day. God is choosing to answer my prayers a little at a time. It is mind-numbingly frustrating to be complete honest. The Foundation has been a test of faith and trust from day one. I have a feeling it will continue to be because I truly believe God is using this vessel to shape our family into something great.
So today--I encourage you. Give that issue to God. It won't be easy and no one will blame you for fighting it tooth and nail the whole time, but I can assure you that if you truly hand it over you will find peace. If only for today you will find peace. One day at a time. After all, we aren't even promised tomorrow.